Lately I have been evaluating friendships. Real friendships, friendships just based on convince, neighborhood friendships, family friendships, work friendships, and my kids friendships. I will go into more detail on each of these friendships in my life in future blogs. (I know my blog is mostly about my running, but it is really lacking in content, so I decided to write about what I think about while I run, besides just math).
The first installment on friendships is going to be about "convenient friendships". The convenient friendship I am going to go into detail on is my friendships with people that I have met through my children. Basically these are parents of my kids friends. I have met amazing people through my kids. I have made friends with parents of the kids my kids go to school with, do sports with, have parties with, go to daycare with etc. The people I have met through the kids have somewhat become more family than friends, these people help to raise my kids, they treat my kids as if they were their own, have an open door for them to walk through at anytime, and have been there so much for my babies.
Now what happens when my kids are no longer friends with these kids, how close are the parents and I, do we remain friends or are we just friends because our kids are friends. With Jacob this hasn't been too much of an issue, he is a fun kid that gets along with lots of different kids, but Jaylee....well, she has lots of friend issues. With Jaylee's friends parents I feel like I make actual friendships with them, which is dangerous because she cycles through her friends fast. Are the parents and I friends, real friends, or just convenient friends?
This issue has been staring at me in the face the last few days. Can I remain friends with parents of Jaylee's ex friends? Sure I can, but do I want to? Sure I want to, but can I? Ok here is the real dirt on the issue. I can get my feelings hurt very easy!! I hold grudges, and unfortunately my brain doesn't forget anything, it's like my life is on index cards that stick in my brain at all times. So, Jaylee has been friends with this girl for a few years. Her Mom and I became friends, we could chat about anything, (well people that know me, know I can chat with anyone) anyway we had a nice time together. Jaylee and this girl recently have had a falling out. I don't ask too many questions, I know my daughter and know she can be difficult to get along with....and the reason I know this is because as hard as it is to admit, she is my mini me!!! Jaylee is identical to the way I was at her age, and maybe even the way I am now. So, when I hear that she isn't friends with this girl anymore, and the Mom seems to have issue with the way my daughter acts, I totally take it personally. I would never admit that, well I guess I am in this blog, but I wouldn't say it out loud. So, I let my feelings get hurt and I get pissed. I find it hard to even look at this parent, so does this mean that my friendships I have built through the kids aren't really friendships, they are just convenient people to talk to when my kids are around? Probably, which is sad, but really my own damn fault for taking things personally.
I like to think I am upset about this child and Jaylee not being friends, and angry with the Mom for something that has happen recently because the Mamma Bear in me is coming out, and I want to protect my child at all costs. But when I really think about it, it is probably just because when I look at Jaylee I get a big fat reality check as to how and who I really am!
I have a feeling that by the end of this friendship blog series I will find myself just sitting alone on my comfy couch with no friends, at least I have Shaun though, my best friend!
November 19, 2012, 3.11 miles, 28:38 (average per mile 9:12). November 20, 2011, 2.91 miles, 51:31 (average per mile 17:39, walked with a friend with a tiny bit of running). November 22, 2012, 2.49 miles, 23:08 (average per mile 9:16). November 27. 2012, 3.24 miles, 28:54 (average per mile 8:55). Year to date 501.73 miles, average per mile 10:06.
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